Welcome to my Blog. A place that encourages Zen with a little mix of Fiesty!

I Hate you and I don't even Know you

Having access and opportunities to engage with a large variety of people and cultures sometimes can be a bit over whelming. All the sights, sounds and smells can become unnerving and paralyzing.

Perhaps you come from a certain background where you are groomed to certain thoughts and behaviors that just don't allow your mind to be open to things unlike yourself.

Too light, too dark, too loud, too quiet, too cheery, too somber, too mean, too positive, too skinny, too fat, too religious, not religious enough. The differences are vast. Clothing choices, foods that are consumed, musical interest, languages. All things that can build beauty but also can build hate.

How do we tackle these issues with our children? Are things worse or better now? Is our parenting today better than our own parents or are we still following the old play books?

-When we don't get a certain job position are we blaming others because we feel we were not the "right" puzzle piece they were looking for or do we just think we weren't qualified?
-When we are dating and certain people don't address us, do we feel slated and lash out with certain comments or do we brush it off as they are just not into you?
-When our child is not picked for the team, do we automatically assume the coach had it in for them, or do we say perhaps they just weren't ready enough?
-Do we tend to be open to try something new or do we say no before we even try it?
-Do we follow what we have heard in the past or do we listen as we move forward and make our own connections?

I was born and raised in New York City. Talk about variety! I grew up in Brooklyn, went to school in Manhattan, moved to Queens. So I have seen many different faces, heard many different sounds and smelled an infinite amount of scents. Some I added to my life and some I didn't but all were options I was blessed to have and grateful to be aware of.

Options I made sure I passed down to my daughter so that she can have an even wider range of possibilities.
I've never wanted to just eat a certain type of food, or listen to just a certain style of music or live in just one specific neighborhood.
We always made sure that she tried or experienced before she could comment.

We want her to eat what she wants, date who she likes, dress as she wishes. We want her to be respectful and learn from others.
We all have a story to tell and things we can share and learn from one another. If you are open and willing you will see that we are more alike than different.

Yes yes we will still run into some who just are who they are and like what they like and believe what they believe, regardless of education, the time that has passed or the knowledge available to them. It is fine to be who you want to be but it is not fine to push it on to another just because.

Parents we have a responsibility to teach our children to respect others and to learn from past mistakes. They are individuals, not clones of us. Communication and respect, who knows maybe they can teach us something. I always enjoy those moments when the tables are turned in my house, how about you?

What do you think?

Do I really have a Choice?