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Getting our 1st ready for the 2nd

Our first anything can be amazing but our first child is like nothing else.

How can it be?

This is truly a life changing moment. No giving it back, no changing my mind no ok I'm done.
This is a let me get my act together and provide the best of everything I can for the next x amount of years.

So you have your first, you give him or her everything.
Your love, your time, your attention.
They are the center of your universe, you are the center of theirs.
They need nor want for anything.
They count on you for everything.

They don't have to share your time or their space with anyone because they are the first.
Everyone in the family caters to their wants.
You go to museums, you go to parks, you have birthday parties, you enroll them in sports, you go on vacations, you have tons of play dates. At the end of all of this for however long it lasts, in their home they are the only one, they are the star.

Now you decide it's time to expand your family. Your ready for star number two, how do prepare your first to share the spotlight?
To share mommy and daddy's hugs, kisses, bed and attention?
How do you explain that shortly their will be another person in the house who requires more attention than they do and they will have to learn to wait their turn?

I have learned in my mommy journey that it doesn't matter what age you are, if someone else is taking your shine, invading your space, taking away your parents attention there will be some moments of great discomfort.

I touched on this subject in a previous post.........i-thought-your-visit-was-only-temporary

I am revisiting it again today because I was asked this question again not to long ago.

Through first hand experience with my own mother, through other family members, through close friends and other acquaintances again I will repeat age really doesn't make a difference I learned that there are very important things that can be done to minimize not eliminate the discomfort.

I would say that most people already know if they want more than one child so if this is the case, as you are raising your first make sure that you incorporate the following:
-time alone, for you your partner your child.
-time outside the house with others, not just family members.
-set up sleepovers with trusted friends and family so your child is use to being away from you.
-have sleepovers in your own home so your child learns to share their home space with other kids and share your attention as well.
-teach independence from early on, don't have your child relay on you for everything and encourage them to figure things out on their own.
-make mention during family time or while visiting other family and friends how eventually down the line the family will be expanding.
-whenever possible enroll your child in team or group activities, this encourages sharing skills and waiting your turn.
-when the time comes you decide to have baby number two start talking about it to your first.
-include your first star in your second stars arrival, room prep, shopping, doctor visits etc...

Last but not least...
-try your best even as hard as it may be to some not all, to minimize the adulation of your first shining star. Sometimes it doesn't come from us, the parent(s) it comes from grandma or grandpa auntie or cousin J or our very close friends.
This does NOT mean you shouldn't shower your child with all the love, attention and affection in your heart. That you shouldn't treat them to nice things or that you shouldn't praise them often. This just means do all those great things and more WITH the knowledge that they are sharing a world with other people.

What do you think? How would you prepare your first for your second?

Shrimp w/ Broccoli & White Rice topped with Brown Sugar glaze

When your child has too many toys and it's your fault