Welcome to my Blog. A place that encourages Zen with a little mix of Fiesty!

I dropped the F Bomb

I was tested on Friday and I failed but that's ok, because today is another day.

Let me explain. About three years ago I made a conscious choice to refrain from foul language as a means to express dislike or to get my point across. 

I wouldn't describe my mouth as a sailors but I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of one of my blowups that's for sure.
As a teen I was aware and respectful to control myself around my mother and when I had my own child I practiced the same. 

Sometimes I did well sometimes I didn't.

Here we are many moons later and I am accepting that it is a one day at a time journey.

On Friday while at my local CVS parking lot I got out of my car, locked the doors, picked up a phone call and was walking behind my car when a woman in her SUV was reversing and I passed in front of her. There was plenty of space, nothing was going on and nothing was obstructing her driving. I very rarely use my phone in public but I was coordinating a meet with a friend later that evening. As I am walking I look at the woman in the SUV and she was in a full speed ahead name calling rant. Her windows were rolled up but I could see that she says "something something f***ing b****" Omg! I couldn't believe it I froze for a brief second and said"What? Are you talking to me?" I get closer to her driver side window and proceed to loose it. I must have said the f word at least 20 times the b word equally as much and all while my friend was on the line hearing me go off and telling me to calm down. Calm down? This woman called me a f b and I had no idea why.

Just as quickly as it started it ended, she drove off. I looked around the parking lot and couldn't believe what had just taken place in a matter of a few minutes. I finally calmed down took few deep breaths and told my friend this is why people get killed sometimes and we have no clue what happened. I went on to say that sometimes you can catch someone in a bad moment and your life can change forever this woman had no idea who I was or what sort of day I had I was so close to her window I could have bashed it in and shot her or something. 

I am not a violent person nor do I believe that is the answer to solving any problem but I am saying that our mouths sometimes cause unnecessary escalations.

You just never know what is going on in someones head when you decide to pop off and say whatever comes to mind.
I don't know what sort of day she had and I don't excuse my reaction to her actions I will hold myself accountable for allowing her behavior to influence mine.

Lesson learned? I must practice harder on a slower, more calmer response time. I must practice taking a few more extra seconds to open my mouth.
At that moment I was just as careless as she was and that is not stress free living at all.
My daughter would say "yeah that's my old mom back in action lol" I say not cool.

Who's tested you lately and how did you do?

Always stress free xo


Don't lose the Spark

I Quit