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Modern day Sex Talk...the Birds, the Bees & and All in between

Boy am I glad I've been having the "Sex talk" for close to 20 years.

Yes that long because in my home we have always been very open, honest and respectful about the topic of Sex.

illustration by familycircle.com

I've shared in the past teaching my daughter the correct names to male and female body parts since she was a Toddler.
I've talked about never a bad time to have a teaching moment. I've touched on always communicating with my daughter using age appropriate language.
Never missing an opportunity to make her feel like she could share Anything and always listening even when the subject matters were tough. Having my own opinion and she having hers but always talking with love, support and respect.

Today's Sex talk I would hope is much more informative and inclusive of the times that we are living.
I never heard the "Talk" in my home except for the blanket statement my mother made once I started to menstruate. She said that now I had to be careful with boys because I could get pregnant! What?
What did that even mean? What was I suppose to do with such an open end statement?
No dialogue, no history, no information.
I respect my mother for doing best she could but that was just plain dumb. That was just over 30 years ago which in a bigger picture is really not that long ago but things have changed some for sure.

My years of Sex talks have touched on such topics as:
-types of protection
-sexual preferences
-positions including the names
-places where people engage in sex
-street slang
-the "idea" of age appropriate
-feelings and emotions
-multiple partners, monogamy etc...

With each of these topics and so much more you must have a level of comfort and respect to be able to truly express, teach and be clear.
If you have never spoken about Sex with your child or children, if you are not comfortable yourself touching this matter than as time goes by please don't believe it will get any easier or more comfortable. No Teenager wants to talk about Sex with his or her parents if Sex topics have never been touched upon at home to begin with.

illustration by itspronouncedmetrosexual.com

My daughter today sometimes says things or touches on subjects I find myself saying wow, we really talking about this.
Like the topic of the label Bisexuality.
I had my own thoughts, I still have my views but my daughter taught me something I never was open to before.
The concept of loving someone, of making a connection with a being first and then the gender coming second.
What? What does that mean? Are you for real, I would say.

As she explained it many of today's youth are more open, more accepting. They don't put extreme value on labels but instead on the individual connection. They don't exclude the possibility of having feelings for either gender. This is why today we can see a particular person or even a celebrity date between genders. It is not about being confused or being wild or experimenting (though of course there are cases of this as well) but about living life open to all possibilities, not excluding that love may come from where you least expect it.

Now me being clear of my heterosexual self I have found at times it tough to even digest that information. I have had and have friends who lived and live this truth and I found at times I was a bit skeptical but as a parent I want to be able to understand and accept the world my child lives in and to be supportive of any road my child or any child chooses to follow when it comes to relationships and love.
I don't want to judge or walk around in ignorance. I want to understand and respect and be truly happy for them. In the end all that matters is that the relationship you are in is healthy, happy and positive.

Are you ready for your Sex talk? What do you think your child will ask you? How much do you think they already know and do you think they have the correct information?
Communication is key!

check out this link huffingtonpost.com

Always stress free xo.

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