Let's thank my daughter and Willow Smith for another thought provoking dinner conversation.
Here we go.
I get home from my office the other night. I start to unwind, get my workout in, prep dinner with my daughter's help and start looking through my emails.
As we set our plates down and get ready to eat our dinner this is the conversation:
me- have you heard the latest Willow controversy?
lil mama- no
me- well it's about a shirt she wore and posted pic on Instagram. she has her arms above her head and the shirt has nipples.
lil mama- oh yeah! love that shirt want to get that shirt, it's fire!
me- oh so you know about the controversy?
lil mama- but what's the controversy?
me- well that's she's 14 and took pic with shirt that has nipples
lil mama- how is that controversial? everyone has nipples.
Right then and there I had to check myself because I too was falling into the trap. What trap?
The Sexualization or Sexualisation of Women's Breasts.
The definition is to make sexual in character or quality
If you look up the word Breasts the main focus on the information provided is that it's primary function as Mammary Glands is for feeding and nourishing of an infant child.
It doesn't say its primary function is for fondling or grabbing or burying our heads in them for pleasure.
No mention of pleasure just sheer use of nourishing infants. All female mammals develop Breasts but only the human female keeps hers throughout her lifetime while the others only develop them when they are pregnant. Again sheer purpose is nourishing infants.
So how then did women's Breasts become sexual objects?
In my research some of the information I came across suggest that this is highly an issue in Western cultures. That showing of women's Breasts is indication of women wanting and in getting ready to engage in a sexual act.
As oppose to in Europe where Breasts are like showing legs nothing sexual about it therefore going topless in a beach for instance, is no big deal.
So basically some American male couldn't control himself and because of his issues I have to cover up my Breasts. I should feel shame if my Breasts are too small. I should cover up when I am Breast feeding and I shouldn't wear low cut blouses. Because some American male couldn't respect my body, if it's cold outside and you can see my nipples or worse my nipples and my piercing I am a slut. I am easy, I am tempting him to say something derogatory to me.
Thanks for nothing dude.
illustration by topiclessbar.wordpress.com
When men walk around topless and they do and can for the most part everywhere, there is no problem. There is no issue.
Women aren't looking at their nipples salivating. We don't loose focus in our conversation and get lost in there chest.
Are some chests attractive? Yes. Do we require or even suggest to our men that perhaps a little surgery will make their chests more appealing? Do we make crude comments about what we would do if we got our hands on their Breasts? I highly doubt that.
So let's get back to Willow and my lil mama.
As my daughter pointed out it isn't up to Willow to feel shame about her body parts or to see that if she is showing support for a cause she is going to make you feel some type of way.
It is up to us, to be more respectful of women and to not allow men and some women as well to continue to Sexualize and shame us.
We all have seen other cultures where women walk around bare and feed their children and work the lands or tend to their homes. I am not suggesting that women sit at a board meeting with their Breasts out or go to Target and walk around bare either but I am suggesting that we perhaps revisit our perspectives on female Breasts in general and take a step outside of the boxes that many males have built for us. That if we do bare our Breasts for whatever reason it is no big deal and it is not acceptable to think we are inviting trouble or poor comments.
That if we choose to Breast feed discreetly our infants we don't have to be shamed into corners or bathrooms.
Love these dinner chats and topics!
What do you think about my dinner conversation with my almost 20 year old daughter?
Do you think it has some valid points or do you think these girls just have no concept of so called respect? Do you feel they lack morals or do you think they are free thinking empowered females?
Always stress free xo.