Four ways to Cope with Pain while finding a Solution
As the first anniversary of my grandmother's transition is quickly approaching I find myself in a review. What has happened in almost a year? What have I accomplished, where have I stayed the same, what have I learned?
As I think about these questions I think about the state of the World I am living in. Mass shootings, a country being run by a spoiled child on Social Media, families being torn apart, our Mental Health slowly being chipped away at through selfishness and propaganda. How does one cope when it seems there is an obstacle around every corner?
I have found several things but really want to talk about and break down these four.
-Acceptance, when you are dealing with hurtful matters it is imperative to admit them, shine a light on the matter and let the emotions flow. If you keep them bottles up all you get is an explosion. It has been almost a year since I have spoken to anyone in the family I was born into since my grandma's passing but because I have learned to process and release my emotions in healthy ways I don't feel attached to that negativity.
-Community, a HEALTHY, strong support system is priceless. People who all have your best interest in mind and by this, I mean a willingness to allow you to navigate your journey as best fits you while still being there to lean on is key. Everyone shares a common element, the wanting to be happy. In times where the pain may be so deep, we feel powerless a place to go or people to see can bring comfort that reveals solutions.
-Faith, both in a Higher power and in yourself. Believing all things are temporary requires that we never stop learning. That even at our worst, we believe there are reasons and lessons. Faith requires us to change our perspective so that we don't sit in our own hurt for too long and not realize there are other's that may be hurt around us.
-Self-Care, sacrificing your health and neglecting your well being helps NO ONE. Investing time on ourselves allows our Mental health to prosper. It allows clear thinking, problem-solving, and process of elimination to take place and this brings about healing and solutions.
This year for me was full of many first's which is amazing and scary at the same time, it had moments of sadness but lots of revelations and the best lesson I learned was to stay on course. Insecurities exist but we don't have to act on them. Slowing down, taking a step back or even walking away is just as good of a solution as jumping right in and engaging on a fly. It could actually be even better because your thoughts become clearer as your emotions calm down.
I said that as I thought about my year I thought about my country as well and as a parent, my thoughts kept and keep coming back to immaturity.
Seems our government is run and filled with children in adult bodies. Behaviors you would see on a playground when children disagree.
How can we cope with the pain of constantly losing innocent lives when our senses are becoming numb? How can we rationalize one "group" of people being more worthy than another? How can Mental Health be good to speak about in one case and not in another? How can one person speak about politics and not another? All these "rules", all these obstacles so much pain no solutions.
The people in power aren't accepting responsibility, they are banking on communities breaking down, losing faith and not valuing themselves as worthy enough to actually have power for change. But we do!
Every day we have a choice. Every day we can begin to heal we can learn to cope with pain and find solutions. Let's place our focus where it matters. Let's use social media in ways that help not harm, in ways that make us smarter and more productive not numbing and out of touch.
Accept, build, believe and value. What do you think? What tools do you use to cope with pain and solve your problem? How has parenting changed the way you deal with painful matters or has it at all? Drop a comment, a story etc...would love to hear.
Always stress-free xo,