Six ways we can deal with the Disappointing actions of a loved one
Disappointment happens it’s a part of life…
Seems like every where we turn lately we run into something that disappoints us, that makes us feel that we are moving backwards instead of moving forward. I was hopeful in this midterm election, I am glad that many people who didn’t pay attention before started to now. I believe we still have a long way to go. In wrestling with these emotions and in having conversations with people who clearly have a different view than myself I find I have needed to practice self-kindness.
Always being mindful that everyone has a different life experience which is not right or wrong, just different can be exhausting. Recently some things from my past have had to be revisited. My daughter is cultivating relationships with her siblings from her father’s side that have bought up old stories and memories. Things I had forgotten or recalled differently now have new added pieces which have tweaked my perspective. Not to run too long but I’ll wrap that share up by saying…I am grateful I made peace with my past so that these new shares did not mess with my vibes.
This bought me back to an old post I shared about family, loved ones and disappointments. We can’t change others but we can always change ourselves.
It is a sad dilemma to find yourself caring for someone you see stuck in a cycle of despair, repeating the same patterns over and over again and wondering why they can't break away from poor habits. You can try a variety of segues into the conversation of change but is there anything else that can be done if they just don't see it? And are you willing to accept their reality without it having any affect on you?
Speaking from personal experience I deal with these thoughts often when it comes to my family and I struggle with myself on how much effort to make on these conversations. I run lengthy dialogues on what to say, did I say that before, should I try this or that and the end result is the same...certain things you just have to leave alone.
And who's to say that your choices haven't or aren't disappointing others? Who's to say that you aren't the one who isn't living to their fullest potential?
Disappointment is a guaranteed part of life. No one is immune to not living up to someone's expectations. We deal with some level of disappointment often. It's how we deal with it that matters more than who is doing it.
-kids disappoint their parents
-partners disappoint one another
-friends disappoint friends
-jobs disappoint us
-time frames in Life disappoint us
So how do we deal with being disappointed by the actions of a loved one in a constructive way? How do we navigate these emotions in a constructive manner?
acceptance, realize we all must find our way on our own
compromise, pick your battles wisely everything doesn't have to be a deal breaker
perspective, change it often put yourself in your loved one's place and try to see where they are coming from
respect, this is the key to continued conversations and the possibility of change
kindness, we all deserve it so give it freely and often
love, if you love someone you are gentle in your approach but you also must know when it is time to walk away.
These are things I try often to practice and use when feelings of disappointment arise in my loved ones. All these things combined keep the connections themselves healthy no matter what the outcome and that is also important. In the end, we want to create our best lives and be our best selves. Communication is always the key to growth.
Right now, as a matter of fact, I am working on how to best approach the next phase in communicating with my family after my grandmother's transition. I will be pulling strength from as many places as I can so kindness and respect will come in very handy.
So, what do you think? Have you been disappointed by the actions of a loved one and how did you handle it? What is your best approach when tackling disappointment? Share your tips would love to hear from you.
Always stress free xo,