What would you do to stop the Pain?
Hey love, I want to warn you that today I will be discussing Suicide. If this subject matter is a trigger for you please stop reading and we chat up next time, xo.
It's been a few days since news broke of Kate Spade and Anthony Bordain's deaths by Suicide and though after any sudden death questions arise when money is involved sometimes the sensitivity gets pushed to the wayside. What should be apparent by now is that pain, any pain that leads to death money can not ease. Money can not quiet the voice of self-doubt, the anguish of feeling there is no other way to escape the torment but to make everything stop even if it means no longer living.
In reading all the statistics that have been published on the high rate of death by suicide no one should really be surprised. I mean let's just look at the society we live in. Nothing is ever good enough. There was a time once when you worked, you raised your family, you retired. In between if you were lucky you sent kids off to college, you vacationed every now and then, you lived your life, you dealt with your problems privately. Today everything is constantly changing and can be exposed in an instant.
If these two adults, established in profitable careers, overcoming the bumps along the way, seemingly living their dreams couldn't figure another way to ease their pain what can we expect from our children? What measures are in play for the fragile minds of our youth?
I just recently binged watch season 2 of 13 Reasons Why, a Netflix series dealing with Teen Suicide and its aftermath. Many mixed feelings on this show from many sides, parents, teachers, doctors, etc...but as a parent I personally must say that as graphic as the subject matter is and as difficult as some of the scenes are it is a great tool to start a conversation. I don't approach it as glorification at all I look at it as a means to open the lines to a subject, or subjects most adults to discuss with their children.
I have actually watched it with my daughter and wrote a post about her losing classmates to Suicide. I even spoke about this show then. The pain kids feel is real and Mental Health is a matter that should be addressed daily and without shame. I strongly believe that as parents we must be honest with our own school experiences. We can't glaze over the bad parts we aren't doing our kids any favors. They don't have it so easy. We didn't have Social Media to worry about. How many likes, unflattering pictures, rumors going "viral". We had notes passed in class and writings on bathroom walls if that. We didn't deal with a barrage of information coming at us from all directions. We had television and a few magazines.
We had one main phone which was the house phone and you couldn't be on it for longer than a few minutes. Today our kids know nothing but technology. Everything is on their phone or computers. They don't have to wait for anything and their word doesn't matter if a "picture" tells "the truth" first. There is no meeting after school and fighting it out fair and square now you are fighting people you don't even know. You open your social media accounts to find comments about your life from people who have no idea who you are. But because it is so easy to press a send button no one thinks to take a step back.
What would you do to stop the Pain?
-engage in dangerous sexual behavior
-sleep all day
All of the above scream Please help.
There is no more help.
If you know of someone who is having a difficult time don't just assume it will pass. Mental Health is a journey. Everyone has times when things aren't going so well. Our kids will be kids and their problems matter. Even if to YOU they aren't a big deal, to them it feels like life or death. Remember being a teen? Please do it could save your kids life. And please talk about the tough stuff sex, drugs, school, self-esteem, gender identification everything. Have no limits on what you can communicate about. Let your children feel you can be the first source they can reach out to with no judgment. You don't have to agree, you just have to respect their journey and support as best you can.
If you don't know where to start looking here are a few links to help:
Tell me what you think? Should Mental Health be something we discuss more openly. Who is to blame for the lack of knowledge on Mental Health? Do you have your own experience you can share? Knowledge is Power!
Always stress-free xo,