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Hi.

Welcome to my Blog. A place that encourages Zen with a little mix of Fiesty!

Goodbyes are never Easy

Goodbyes are never Easy

Hey loves, hope everyone is doing well. I've been off the grid for several days and just yesterday started to get back into regular routines. It is with a sad but content heart that I share my Baby #2 has Transitioned. She left us on Wednesday, March 15th. 

Her passing has been the easiest part to handle, the tough part has been my family. I have never been surrounded by such hateful, confused & bitter people in my life. Family can really be your worst enemy. It has taken every ounce of my Yoga & Meditation practices to keep me still. I have really had to grab on to that and to the strong connection with my Lil Mama to keep me focused. She didn't suffer, she wasn't in the hospital she was home, in her own bed with one of her attendants who has cared for her so lovingly. I hold on to that and to all my years of great memories of doing the best I could to provide her with the best resources for a stable quality of life.

Other family members choose instead to focus on the fact I relinquished all my duties the moment she no longer needed me. They were focused and remain focused on how I disrupted their lives by handing over the responsibilities to put her to rest. These same people who never came around, these same people who have brought nothing but conflict and poor communication for years were upset I was done and it was now their turn to step up. They were mad at me for my clarity and keeping my word.

To be on the same page with those of you who may be new here. The gist of it is that I have been caring for my grandmother baby #2, who had Alzheimer's for numerous years now with very little involvement from the rest of the family. Whether it was due to illness or shear disconnect that was my reality and for from the beginning I had said that when she no longer needed me I would no longer be there and that is exactly what happened on Wednesday and *ish hit the fan.

But I have no interest in investing my energy on that or on them. Lil Mama and I have had as always lengthy conversations these past few days and we are ready to move on to our next chapter. We are ready to continue to respect our family as they are but to remove ourselves from their toxic drama. Loving people from a distance is totally ok and the best self love and self care you can do for yourself.

My baby # 2 was feisty and funny and very weak in the end but she still managed to make me smile and be grateful for every moment of Life. She confirmed to me that nothing is worth risking your own health for. No battle is that important for you to use up your precious time to try to win. You win by:

  • accepting
  • working through your struggles
  • releasing the power to control every outcome
  • making peace and showing kindness to yourself
  • taking baby steps one moment, one day at a time.

I want my share to serve you as a celebration of Life for yourself and with those you love. I want my share to inspire better communication and kindness and healing. If you read this and it touches a nerve, if you or someone you know is dealing with family battles...know that the power of its outcome comes from self. Choices, we all have them and self preservation is not selfish.

I'm going to conclude by sharing pics of my baby #2. Stay blessed, be kind and love yourself deeply Always stress free xo,

Mari

 

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