Gratitude is not an Excuse to accept Mediocracy
Happy Sunday! This adjustment period has been so off balance. Everyday I wake to something new and my emotions are constantly being tested. I look forward to February where perhaps our shock and awe will be less. All these changes clouded my mind to the dates and when I finally realized this came to mind...
I looked at the calendar and it reminded me that it was your Birth Day. It nagged at me and insinuated I should somehow acknowledge it after all without you, there would be no me.I contemplated making a call I pushed it out of my mind for a few hours than I revisited the idea again and decided against it.
No use opening up old wounds only to add more unnecessary recovery time. No use revisiting old questions that will still have the same answers and no use mustering up hope where no hope lies. I wonder if you think of the moment things took a turn for us? Do you sit and look back at our lives and when our connection became tainted. When the role of protector expired and my wings were clipped. Do you think of the moment when love was lost?
I do and I have and for me the answers are clear. What isn't clear is my ability to explain to others that Gratitude is not an Excuse to accept Mediocracy. Sharing history with someone or familial ties is no excuse to have to stick around and continue to be reminded of what doesn’t work. When something fails it fails and we shouldn’t feel obligated to carry that burden around for the sake of making others feel more comfortable.
It is not my job to heal you or fix what has been broken in you. It is not for me to hold your hand and walk you to better understanding of lIfe’s purpose. It is my duty to myself and to you to be available for support when you can meet me halfway.
Love isn’t pain, love isn’t obligation, love is light and a hope we always carry and wish for others. Love is freedom, love is kind, love is growth and love is picking yourself up when you fall and reaching out to those around you for support. Love is not isolation, or guilt or defeat. Love is not holding on to grudges and pushing people away.
I can’t look you in the eyes and say this, I can’t hold your hands as I make this wish for you but I will think it, pray it and release it so that perhaps the Universe can somehow help it make its way to you.
Happy Birthday! Thank you for my life and thank you for doing the best you could with what you knew how. I wish you peace and joy. I hope that your health is in a manageable state and that you find a way to live your life not just be in your life. May time and experience bring forgiveness for past transgressions and may you know that you are loved in spite of your absence. These are my wishes for you. Love, your eldest daughter.
Do you have a loved one that though you wish you were close you aren't? Do people try to guilt you into being part of their lives? Do you believe that family is family no matter what?
Let’s discuss it.
Always stress free xo,