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Oh you wanted kids?, Those Important Questions no one bothers to Ask

I found myself yelling at the television the other morning. As I have shared I watch Good Morning America as I get ready for work. I watch the Today show too sometimes but not as often. Anyway let me stay focused.

illustration by enwikipedia.com 

The story was on how more and more couples are running into issues because the Man wants children and the Woman doesn't. HOLD UP!!! did you NOT talk about this when you met? As you started dating? Before you popped the question? Before you said I DO?

As I yelled at the TV my daughter was almost out the door leaving and says "I guess people are talking and focusing on the wrong things". What?, how is that even possible? men-women-parents

illustration by en.hydo.org

I am not suggesting that you meet this person and start to play 21 questions but guess what, why not? By sitting and talking and asking questions you get to know a person. You get the chance to build a resume sort of speak and from there you can choose to continue or to cut things short.
Depending on what you are looking for of course but still asking questions non the less.

Dating expectations vary by age I would think and hope. I think perhaps when you begin to date in hopes of something more serious there are a series of questions that should be at hand sooner rather than later. I wouldn't be offended if a man is clear on what he is looking for from day one.

I stopped yelling and starting taking notes. I think these are the MOST important questions to ask from the start:

Marriage? -What are your thoughts on it? How important is that tradition for you? What do you think it actually means?

Children? -Do you want any? If yes, what is a good number for you and if no why not? Is this how you feel right now, is this open for discussion later? If issues arise we can't conceive naturally what are your thoughts on Adoption, Surrogacy etc...

illustration by shemakescents.com

Finances? -What are your thoughts about money? How much debt do you carry? What are your financial goals? Retirement, what are your ideas about it and how are you planning to live comfortably? Are you impulsive or a saver? What do you think about joint accounts as well as separate? Cash or Credit? What are your thoughts on one provider while the other raises the kids? Pursues career?

Religion? - What do you think about organized religion? Are you more Spiritual then Religious? Do you have specific view on certain matters or is flexibility fine with you? What traditions will you observe or non at all or a little of a few? How will the kids be raised?

Home? - Where do you want to raise your family? What type of home, Apt., or Condo? Big or Small? What state or country? Traditional or Modern? Next to family or away?

Deal Breakers? - Now this one is critical!!! One thing I learned from my past relations is we all have deal breakers. Things we will just not bend on, which is totally fine by the way. But it is very important we put it out there so every one is clear. I suggest discussing these things at length so again we just don't waste our time. Deal Breakers can be anything from what we wear to bed to in-laws moving in when they age. One of my deal breakers is hygiene. You must be on point with all aspects of your hygiene from tip of your toes to top of your head. Teeth, beard, nails, breath, ears the works! I don't bend on that yesterday today or tomorrow. Another is weight, I don't mind a few pounds but I didn't meet Homer Simpson and I don't plan on settling down with him either. I want you to care about your health and fitness enough so we can grow old together in a healthy, flexible manner.

illustration by ultradownloads.com

illustration by askmen.com

What do you think? What would be your top questions to ask, what were your questions before you decided to commit? Share your story here.

Always stress free xo.

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