The Rocky Road of Sexual Relationships
Hey Doll, Happy Sunday! I am slowly easing into my surgery prep. I am anxious for it to be over and done with so I can put all my energies into recovery. For those new here that may not know, I am having Umbilical Hernia Surgery on Thursday.
Years of heavy lifting, possible child birth and all of my daily life activities have finally caught up and said "enough woman, time to slow it down and ask others for help." Most shocking to me out of all the information I have gathered was that I will not be allowed to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk! Can you believe that? I carry six and seven bags of groceries in my arms bi-weekly. This new restriction will really be a challenge but if I don't want to develope another Hernia I must listen.
I thought I would spice up our Sunday by diving into some celebrity news that is trending and get us talking about how they relate to regular people and daily life and connections.
-First up is the latest accusations connected to R&B Singer, Songwriter R Kelly. Parents coming out saying he is holding their young daughters in some sort of cult and they are concerned for their safety. Now for years we have been hearing and seeing behaviors to suggest at the minimum that R Kelly does indeed show a lack of poor judgment in his behavior with young women. Dating back to his relationship with the late singer Aaliyah. Some are torn between his genius talent and his past records. I for one love his music but can no longer ignore the pattern of inappropriate choices and behaviors.
So here's the question, as a parent what responsibility do you have to your child or children, regardless of age to steer them clear from networking to expand their chances at building a career when and if you know this person has a history of poor judgment? When do you step in and say this is not someone we will work with? Or do you say "I've heard the stories but it won't happen to my daughter" and make the connection anyway? Do you sacrifice your child's health and well being for a potential jackpot down the road? My perspective is a parents responsibility for the well being of their child has no age limit.
-Next up we have another Singer, Usher. Who records indicate he settled some years back with a woman for over a million dollars after it was revealed she contracted Herpes from her unprotected sexual relationship with the singer and it has come to light that another woman is claiming the same thing. This was one of those things where I am just embarrassed for this person. To have your deep personal business out in the open like that, I never envy people in the spot light.
And here's the question, should you ever engage in unprotected Sex regardless of who the person is or the circumstances. Is it ever a bad time to discuss protection and past sexual history. My perspective is that it isn't a matter of judging how fast a connection flows or how soon someone engages in sex but a matter of remaining safe and valuing your health and your life. I am a huge advocate for women carrying around their own protection. I have had this conversation with my daughter since about the age of twelve. There is no need for embarrassment when it comes to keeping our bodies safe regardless of gender. I believe as parents it is our responsibility to open these lines of communication early and as adults, it is our right to ask questions and if we are not comfortable with the answers to walk away.
-Moving on to Rob Kardashian & Chyna. I don't think I need to give much back ground on these two they are every where and their connection to other reality show celebrities is endless. This story has now become a legal issue due to the route that Rob Kardashian chose to take as revenge for an ugly breakup and much confusing relationship, to begin with. Sharing explicit videos, photos, text conversations etc... as a means to "expose" his ex, who so happens to now be the MOTHER of his daughter as a less than favorable female. He is hurt, he feels used and this was his way to feel relief and get payback.
My question to you is... at what point do you take responsibility for the choices YOU made? At what point do you at least consider you have a child with this person? At what turn do you say, this is really not going to work out in MY best interest? My perspective is this...once there are children involved it is no longer about you and how you are going to get back at someone. It is now about what is the best choice you can make to take the high road and still feel as if you have said your peace. Having shame is a wonderful tool to keep handy, it keeps you in check when you are about to make a fool of yourself in front of lots of people.
-Last but not least, though the story is still pretty fresh on Social Media is one of my favorite comedians, Kevin Hart. He was reported being seen not too long ago around five something in the morning in his car with a woman who is not his wife. His wife was at home and is several months pregnant with their first child. Kevin has admitted in the past to cheating on his first wife. Not much is known about the before and after just the photo showing two people sitting in a car in the early hours of a typical morning. No one can say for sure what was happening all anyone can do is speculate.
My final question is, how true is it that a picture is worth a thousand words? How true is it that once a cheater always a cheater and how true is it that pictures don't lie? Should the assumption be he was up to no good because of his past history? Should accusations start flying because of how "something" looks? Have you ever seen a cropped picture and thought one thing and as the image widened and you got a full view thought something else? Safe to say it can happen but safe to also say that people in committed relationships should also be mindful of their actions. My perspective is, I don't care how cool I am, how secure I feel or how open I am about relationships in general, nothing not suspicious is going to run through my mind if even for a split second if I saw such an image. I feel that when in relationships there are just certain situations you just don't put yourself in out of respect not only for your significant other but also for yourself.
Intimate relationships require decorum. You can't be just doing whatever and seeing what sticks and what doesn't. Being intimate with someone is raw, its exposure of the utmost vulnerability. It's giving of your deepest self with a trust that should never be violated but unfortunately many times it is. This doesn't mean we should give up on the goal to achieving such a connection, it just requires that we are clear and mindful of who we choose to connect in such a manner with.
The Rock Road of Sexual Relationships. Start a conversation, ask questions, Listen to the responses and continue to talk. With your partner, with your children, with your friends. Let me know what you think. Share your thoughts, opinions and experiences always love to hear.
Wish me luck on my surgery, will certainly chat again soon!
Always stress-free xo,