Seems every where we turn now someone is being caught in a lie. Maybe you want to call it half truth or just disclosing what was necessary at the time? Choosing to omit in order to keep the peace? I can go on with all the reasons but in the end it certainly wasn't the truth.
As parents how do we address these issues? How do we start a conversation or address a question bought to us by our child(ren)? For instance, recent events such as Melania Trump taking snippets from Michelle Obama's 2008 speech. It's not an if or maybe it is
. How do we talk about honesty and lies?
When I first started my blog I wrote on this subject, I am
it again with few updates:
Have you experienced a time when you found out your child has lied to you? Have you noticed a pattern of fibs your son has been telling? Does your daughter try to cover her tracks by lying?
illustration by pinterest.com
What are we to do when we are faced with the possibility that our children are liars, that they do it often and like to do it because it keeps them out of so called trouble or worse yet allows them to manipulate others? Do we yell, punish, scream, resort to use of physical means to stop this behavior? Do we sit, talk and maybe get outside sources to help us?
My perspective is let's try talking first. Yelling and screaming only distracts from the real issues and makes the child loose interest and focus. They will not grasp the information you are trying to get across. The message gets lost in the delivery. Our goal is raising honest children.
-sit him or her down, explain in language suitable for their age what the problem is.
-explain what lying is, maybe they really have no
-give examples don't just say because it is wrong or I don't like it. An example can be lying about where they were.Let them know it's not that you are tracking them or you don't trust them but instead make it clear it's for safety if something were to happen you want to be able to trace their steps.You want to be able to have peace of mind they are in safe places.
illustration by wisieforkids.com
If your child lies to manipulate one person over the other, share that
is very valuable. That they will want you to trust them so they can do the things they enjoy like visit with friends, stay out later, start to date, join school teams etc...And when they lie, those privileges
be taken away.
If they are younger you should find cartoons or books that can assist with teaching them what lies are. When they see a character they love explain or behave in ways we are trying to teach it makes things a little clearer.
You may also try to say things like, what if mommy told you we were going to the park but instead we went grocery shopping. You wouldn't like that, it is a lie and it would make you feel sad.
Language is important. The goal is to get better results and remove poor habits. And let's not forget to acknowledge when the truth has been told. We encourage by acknowledgment and we encourage even when we don't like what we hear the goal again is the
. What are your thoughts? Have you dealt with these issues already? What tips or tricks can you share with us?
Always stress free xo,